I have a confession to make and it’s not going to be easy to admit this but owning your problems is the first step to resolving them… Right?! (That’s a rhetorical question… OF COURSE IT IS!) These letters to you are to give you advice, not ask you for answers to life questions.
I haven’t written for a long time. I was a daily blogger for many years, but I haven’t written consistency since 2014. I didn’t make a decision to stop… it just happened. A few skipped days turned into a few skipped weeks. At several points I tried to go back and catch up but even that became overwhelming and I decided I must need a break. It may have been an excuse and you know what they say about excuses… everyone has one.
Maybe I did need a break… but I’ve known for a while that I need to get back in the saddle and it terrifies me.
I said it.
I’m afraid to write again… and I think the reason is that I’m afraid that I might be wrong.
I’m a Granny now for heaven’s sake. I’m supposed to have it all together. I’m supposed to know exactly what to say, how to fix things and make everything wonderful. Isn’t that what grandparents do? I’ve written over 370 letters to you dispensing my wisdom (because I thought then I really had some wisdom to share.) Now… I’m not so sure. You’re almost here and I feel like I’m beginning again.
So… I had a thought.
What if we did this whole “grand-parenting” thing together? What if you and I work through the details as them come to us? After-all, I’ve never been a Granny before, but you’ve never been a Grandson either. I know it won’t always be easy. We’ll make mistakes, but we just might get it right once in a while too.
So you… My little “Jim Bob Cooter” are going to be my rough draft. We’re going to write this scrip as it comes to us; always knowing that we can go back and edit it later. We (you and I) have a story to tell and no one else can tell it as well as we will. I’m sure you’ll feel like you drew the short straw once in a while (when your siblings and cousins come along) because I’m bound to get better at being a Granny. But keep in mind, no one else will get to be my first grandchild either. When you arrive, you will have my undivided attention. Until then, I’m going to work on being the brave one and get ready for you. We have a lot of things to learn.