Auschwitz and Birkenau

I am finally sharing my thoughts on our experience of Auschwitz. I asked for prayers before we left for our trip to Poland in April, and this one brought me to tears.

Prayers for you, Kelli, that all your expectations of this trip are met, if not exceeded. And you find that your emotions can be put into words.

Well, the first part was answered immediately. We tried to have no expectations, and it made a big difference. Each day brought a sense of wonder and awe. And the words are still coming as we process the emotions brought on by this experience.

Many people have asked about the trip, and I’ve stammered in my response. I did not find the words to describe the experience, at least not adequately. It’s been a few months, and I’ve had some time to process. I wanted enough time to think about it, and yet not long enough that I might forget. The primary goal of our trip was to visit and experience the Nazi Concentration Camp, Auschwitz and Auschwitz II – Birkenau, and it was the most memorable part of the entire trip.

We were scheduled to tour Auschwitz/Birkenau on April 9, 2024, Leroy’s 57th birthday. It was the fifth day of our trip, and we were rested and in a rhythm. We had become acquainted with our fellow tourists and even formed some friendships. It was a beautiful day, and the timing was perfect.

When you enter the main camp at Auschwitz, you go through a long, angled tunnel that simulates the entry into the gas chamber. It is as daunting as it sounds. While you are walking through, there are speakers, and the victims’ names are read in memoriam. I will never forget that sound.

The tunnel walls were cold and bare, in stark contrast to the bright sun and warmth we walked into upon exiting. That region of Poland experienced a warm winter and an early spring, so the trees were filled with bright green leaves, and the lilacs were in bloom. Auschwitz was beautiful, and it smelled good.

My initial impression was one of peace. The surroundings were immaculate and serene. The site of some of the most horrific crimes against humanity has been transformed into a memorial for the victims who endured those atrocities. It was not what I had anticipated. It evoked feelings of honor, privilege, awe, and gratitude that stayed with me throughout the day.

We were assigned an outstanding tour guide. She spoke flawless English and took us through the camps, explaining everything and telling many personal stories of the prisoners who suffered there. We were with her for three hours, and she never stopped talking.

It isn’t easy to express what it was like to walk the grounds of a facility that you’ve seen depicted in films, read about and studied for so many years. I am transported right back to the location when I see those scenes.

I have seen pictures and videos from Auschwitz after the liberation. The piles of luggage and shoes left over from the prisoners are often shown to demonstrate the scale of the horror. We saw those things at the camp. But there was one massive pile I did not expect: a room full of hair. At this point of the tour, I became physically ill and had to leave the room.

At some camps, the prisoners were shaved upon arrival to maintain hygiene and to prevent escape attempts. At Auschwitz, the hair was removed even from the corpses. The Nazis would bale and sell the hair to German companies as raw material to make cloth and felt. The hair remaining at the camp after the liberation weighs almost two tons and came from approximately 40,000 prisoners.

After touring Auschwitz I (the main camp), we were transferred 3.5 kilometers to Birkenau, also known as Auschwitz II. This camp had a profound impact on me just from the sheer size. It covers almost 345 acres of land. There were rows and rows of barracks as the camp contained approximately 300 housing and administrative buildings. Construction only ceased when the front line came too close in 1944. To read my travel blog from the day of our visit and to see many of the photos, click here.

If I had to use one word to sum up the experience, it would have to be gratitude. Every once in a while, Leroy and I will pause and say to each other, “We were there.” We walked the grounds and touched the buildings. We smelled the blooming lilacs and stood on the soil of this holy ground. By the grace of God, we were there, and it has forever transformed us. The words will always feel inadequate, but the experience will remain in my heart and soul forever.