NOTE
In February, Leroy and I will go on a pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City with Fr. Tom, Deacon Eric, and other All Saints University Parish parishioners. We are truly grateful for the opportunity and look forward to the experience. Please keep us in your prayers, as you will be in ours. If you have any particular prayer intentions, message us, and we’ll carry them with us on this journey.
I have a terrible habit that I’ve been trying to break for several years, and I still struggle. In psychological terms, it’s known as ‘Future-Oriented Coping.’ The idea that ‘everything will be ok if I can just get through (INSERT EVENT HERE.)’ For example, “Everything will be ok after Christmas.” Or “Everything will get easier after the first of the year.” Technically, it’s defined as a psychological strategy where a person focuses on the future and believes that enduring or overcoming a specific challenge will lead to relief or improvement.
“I will be happy after…”
I am not entirely convinced that this technique helps me cope with stress. I fear that using it to ease the stress of a current situation creates a barrier to fully experiencing the present moment. I love to check off lists, but I can’t appreciate the value of the current task or situation if I look at the next one.
Another problem is that it eliminates the opportunity for the joy and thrill of anticipation. I rarely, truly, look forward to an upcoming event; I only see its arrival as the end of the current stressful situation. I miss out on what could be the best part of an experience. (Or at least a really good part of an experience.)
In studying this (for this blog post), I’ve learned that I am not alone. There are some things I can do to help eliminate this tendency. I must shift my focus from the future to the present moment and practice resiliency. I must find joy in the present moment.
- Mindfulness – Reduce anxiety by focusing on the here and now.
- Reframe Thinking – Replace “I’ll be happy after…” with “What can I appreciate or learn about the situation in the present moment?”
- Set small, meaningful goals – Tracking will keep me aware and engaged.
- Focus on gratitude – Shift attention from lack to abundance.
- Accept uncertainty – Trust my ability to handle good or bad outcomes.
- Celebrate small wins – Build a sense of accomplishment.
I was going to write that I’m going to try and practice these techniques, but in the words of Yoda, “Do or do not. There is no try.” So, I will focus on shifting my focus and learning to live now and happily ever after.