I'm going to make a public announcement today.  I've had a secret that I've been keeping for about 4 weeks.  I didn't want to tell anyone but now I feel as though I'm going to burst if I don't get this off my chest and come clean.  I've confided in 2 people... but I think I need to stop pretending.  The secret.... I've decided to grow out my hair.  I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to be checking out my hair the next time you see me.  Just like someone going on a diet... when you know they've been working on it, you pay particular attention to see if they've been successful.  My hair is not going to have a real style for a very long time... and I just don't know if I can do it.  People have noticed a bit of a difference, but they insist that I've just colored it a darker shade.  It's the same shade... it's just that there's more hair to hold the color. I know that doesn't seem like a big deal... but it's HUGE for me.  I've had short (really short) hair for about 6 years now.  I have it cut every 2 weeks... and now I've decided to change it completely.  I'm not real sure I'll make it.  My friend Tammy told me that I can't (which I later changed in my mind to shouldn't) cut it at all... just let it grow... but it's already starting to drive me crazy.  It's TOUCHING MY EARS for heaven's sake.  It's almost grossing me out.

The thing that is bothering me the most... is how much this is bothering me.  People (mostly older women) compliment me on my hair all the time.  I've known for a long time it's not the style they like... it's the confidence it requires to wear the style that makes it appealing.  I know, because I used to be one of them.  Then why now am I changing my mind?  I feel like it's a set back.  I tell people all the time... "It's only HAIR."  It will grow back... but why now am I not buying my own philosophy?  It's only HAIR!  If I don't like it, I can always cut it again.  Right?  And if that's the case... how long do I go before I make a final decision?  A year...?  Unimaginable!

Today I begged Tammy to at least let me schedule an appointment to "clean it up" a bit before a wedding we'll be attending in June.  It's been 35 days since my last haircut and my appointment with Tammy is 49 days away.  (Not that I'm keeping track or anything.)  I'm not even half way there. Yikes!

Anyway... I don't know if blogging about this well help, but I was desperate.  Now that the secret is out, I'll keep you posted.  Just be kind the next time you see me.  Remember what Thumper's mother said... "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."