About two and half years ago I was having lunch with a good friend, and I confided in her that I was afraid. At that moment in time my life was just about as perfect as it could be. All of my needs were met, but more than that... all of the things that I had dreamed of were a reality as well. I'm not just talking about material goods... I really mean EVERYTHING. Mentally, physically and spiritually... I could not ask for more. I was exactly where I wanted to be, doing exactly what I wanted to do. My fear was that it was all too good. Everyone has a cross to bear, and at that moment in time, I couldn't see mine. Suffering is a part of life... and I wasn't doing any. I knew it was around the corner and I dreaded it terribly. I didn't want to miss a moment in dread of the future and she suggested that I start counting my blessings. There is a Mormon hymn that still rolls through my memory
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed, When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings; name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
[Chorus] Count your blessings; Name them one by one. Count your blessings; See what God hath done. Count your blessings; Name them one by one. Count your many blessings; See what God hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear? Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly, And you will be singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold, Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold. Count your many blessings; money cannot buy. Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
So amid the conflict, whether great or small, Do not be discouraged; God is over all. Count your many blessings; angels will attend, Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
No truer words were ever spoken. 2009 has been full of burden, doubts and conflict for me and counting my blessings is what has gotten me through. This blog has had a healing power. Even when it was extremely difficult to find something positive, I managed to find something to write about. As I've said before, the blessings keep coming, I just don't always see the gifts I've been given. What really started as a challenge had turned into a tremendous blessing in itself. I had already been counting, but the idea of acknowledging the blessings publically not only held me accountable but also built up relationships with the readers that I will cherish forever. To be honest, I never really ever expected anyone to read what I wrote. I had no idea that the words I posted would have such an impact on so many. I have been moved to tears by the comments that readers have posted I am truly humbled every time someone talks to me about it in person. I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has supported this project. You pulled me through and I am eternally grateful, not only for you but for all of the blessings God has sent my way.
By the way... just because it's not listed here... doesn't mean it wasn't a blessing, and that includes many, many people. I could only list 365 in this venue... but there are many more. And, I'm not going to stop counting. Please don't be offended if I didn't mention you or something important to you here in the blog. Please know you are loved, appreciated and prayed for.
I will be printing my blog (comments included) as a keepsake. If you are so inclined, I would love to include your comments. I won't publish it until February 1st, so please take some time before then and comment on a post (or two, or several.) It would make it that much more meaningful.
So what's next? It saddens me to think that this project is ending... so instead of just stopping, I'm going to just change it a bit. My New Year's Resolution for 2010 is going to be a "Photo A Day" that will be posted on Kelli's Personal Blog. Of course I always have something to say about everything so there will be writing too. It's been so therapeutic for me I can't stop now.
Thank you again... for everything. All of your prayers, words of encouragement and support. I asked for God's continued blessings on us all for 2010.