I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. Most of the time I don't realize things until way after the fact. As much as I try to take notice of what's going on around me I usually don't notice things as they are happening... it takes a while for things to sink in. This is a good trait to have in the middle of an emergency... I can usually keep a pretty clear head. But when something good is happening, I don't always appreciate it until after the fact. Today was a big 'ah-ha" moment for me. After a little pre-planning, preparation and effort, I turned in 14 photos for judging at the county fair. Now this might not sound like a HUGE accomplishment... and for those of you know me, you know this is not the first time I've done this. But it's the first time, in a long time. I know, I know... You might be asking, What's the big deal? You didn't cure cancer...! No, I didn't. But this is a big clue to me that I'm getting my life back in order.
The tricky part of entering pictures is getting the official entry in on time. It is due about 8 weeks before the fair even opens. When you take as many pictures as I do, it's hard to choose which ones to send. Then there's the matter of having them printed, getting them mounted and delivering them to the fairgrounds during the scheduled receiving time. (Doesn't sound so easy now does it?)
You see, the thing is, my brain (life, emotions) have been so overwhelmed with so many other things, this is one of the areas that has been ignored for a long time. I just didn't want to be bothered. It wasn't important enough to spend any extra energy. Then when the fair would open, and I'd go through the exhibit, I'd realize that I had miss out... again. Pathetic. I love photography and the challenge of entering photos at the fair has always been fun. But unfortunately, when I'm not in a good place, "fun" is the first thing out the window.
As I was standing in line today to deliver my photos, I realized, for me, this is a big accomplishment. For me, this is a sign that I'm getting back on track. I don't know when I actually switched gears, but I'm not in neutral anymore. This is similar to how I felt the day I decided to go back to short hair. It's difficult to describe, but it's authentic. I'm starting to feel like me again.
And I like it.