WARNING: Confusing/Psycho-Therapeutic Mumbo-Jumbo Ahead!  -- Sometimes I just need to write what's going on in my brain. I don't think dread is the same as worry.  I try very hard not to worry, but I live in dread.  (And the latter is not by choice.)  I guess it doesn't make sense to recognize worry as a waste of time and emotion and then allow myself to dread.  Dread is a waste of time and energy as well.  But with dread, you do get the added benefit of procrastinating the negative.  While on the surface, that sound great... It's pretty crappy too.  Worry implies unknown (which is scary to me) and dread is anticipation of the inevitable.

What I can attest to is the wonderful feeling of having endured and survived something I've dreaded.  (Perhaps this is why I give it so much attention... But deep down I know it's not worth all of the stress.)  Anyway... It feels good.  Short term.

I know, I know... ALL of this can be avoided my choosing faith and hope... But sometimes that's not so easy.



Physician, heal thyself.

I have some work to do.