Working Title

Some day I'm going to write a book.  This is probably the most lofty goal I have set for myself.  However, unlike running a marathon, I can actually see this goal being achieved.  I love to write... but when it comes to my book, I just don't know what to write  about.  I often wake up in the middle of the night, or early in the morning with all kinds of wonderful ideas.  But as I just explained to Leroy...  ideas and thoughts do not stay in my head very long.  (He was quick to voice his agreement with my assessment.  Hmm.)  So here I am at 5:45 on a Saturday morning (in which I had planned on sleeping in) sitting at my lap top... writing. The subject of my book is in question, but I have lots of ideas for titles.  (I think that's probably supposed to work in the reverse order, but like I said, sometimes my brain is a little... shall we say... off.)  People seem to like my kids, and we are often asked what we did as parents.  When I tell my kids that they are only fabulous because I'm extraordinary, I tell them I'm going to write a book about it and call it....  "How to Raise Good Enough Kids."  But secretly, I have a huge fear that one of them (or both) will get arrested for Grand Theft Auto on the morning my book is to be released.  I don't want to jinx them.

I love a sappy love story.  A good romance will keep me captivated for hours.  Throw in a vampire and I'm hooked!   But that's been done.  (And some would say overdone.)  I'm not imaginative enough to come up with a futuristic or adventure story.  I'm not that creative.  I have a hard time keeping up with someone else's imagination and they're doing all the work.

I woke up this morning thinking all of those issues were resolved.  The idea was so profound,  I could not ignore it.  One of my favorite authors, Judy Blume (whom I recently discovered on Twitter - @judyblume) wrote a book called "Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing."  I loved that book.  And I'm inspired by it as an adult.  Thanks to that book, I have a new working title for my book.

Are you ready?

"Tales of a Has Been 4th Grade Room Mother With Nothing."

I could write about the second life, transformative, reinvention that I've been enduring since 2009.  It's been one hell of a ride.  (And I mean HELL  in the literal sense.)  I wonder if people would be interested in knowing how an early 40's, dairyman's wife, stay at home mom transitions into a.... AND that's where I get stuck.  Transitions into what?  What am I becoming?  And does the WHAT fall into line with what I WANT to become?  Ok... now this is turning into a self help/therapy book.  Where am I being called?  Is my identity a mid 40s, working 2 1/2 jobs, supportive coach's wife, empty nester?  (Gee, that sounds like fun... NOT!)

I don't know my own title.

Maybe this is what they're talking about when they say people need to "find themselves."  I don't feel lost, but I 'm not quite comfortable with where I am.  I don't think writing about who I WAS will do any good... for me or any reader.  I have work to do.  I know that now and I need to get to it.  I'm not afraid, but I am anxious.  I'm not very patient and so much of this re-invention stuff takes time.  I have no doubt God has big plans for me.  I just wish he'd let me in on the details.