Reluctant Runaway

A while back a good friend of mine told me that she was going on a road trip to see her brother.  She'd be traveling by herself with no agenda, no schedule and no set date for return.  She explained that she needed to "get away" and to get back to family that she'd been missing since the passing of her mother.  She explained that nothing was wrong with her marriage or family here,  she just needed a break.  She just needed to decompress and breathe. While I understood the reason and feeling of wanting to escape for a while, the thought of just getting in the car one day and driving without a schedule or a sidekick was scary to me.  That made me sad.  Then I stopped to think why it made me sad and I realized that I don't think I'd have the courage to do that by myself.  Not in the place I am right now.  If Leroy were going with me, no problem.  I'd leave right now.  But taking on that kind of adventure without a plan or a partner is way out of my comfort zone.  And I don't like that feeling of insecurity.

Several years ago I was on a trip with a school group (and Sierra) to New York.  We had a great time, but I really missed Leroy, terribly.  We were only gone five days and to tell you the truth, missing him was a little pathetic.  Even now it sounds pathetic to me, but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't travel for any serious length of time without him.  And I haven't... but I'm going to change my promise and make a new one.

I'm going on a solo-road trip.

Someday.

I have an idea of where I'd like to go.  I'd like to make a trip to the Utah/Idaho area and visit family.  I haven't been to Idaho since my mother's funeral in March of 2004.  Or maybe I'll go visit my Aunt and cousins in the Spokane area... I can't decide.  It doesn't even really matter right now.  I neither have the time nor resources to pull this off presently, but (hopefully) that won't always be the case.  This trip is in the future, but I'm determined to make it happen.

In the meantime I need to work on my currently misplaced, can-do, fearless, optimistic attitude that I've tried keep my entire life.  I'll find it... and when I do, watch out.  There will be no stopping me!

I'm starting to get excited now...