Hey Kid: Self Esteem

It's not your parents' responsibility to provide you with self-esteem.  This is one of the biggest misconceptions of my generation.  Too many parents have ruined children with this simple mis-understanding.  A parent cannot GIVE a child self-esteem.  A child has to develop that sense on his own.  What happens all too often, even with the best of intentions, parents give a sense of entitlement instead and that's not good for anyone. Good parents allow a child to develop his own self-esteem.  (Notice the word self?  It's there for a reason.  You have to do it/have it yourself.)  It cannot be given.  Good parents put their children in self-esteem building activities and situations that provide the opportunity for failure.  Yes, failure.  That's where we learn to do better, be better and to make better choices.  We have to lose once in a while to learn how to win.

Parents do not want to see their children fail.  Ever. It's painful.  No one wants failure, but we all need it.  At least we need the risk.  We need to have an alternative outcome.  We need to have a choice.  When everything is handed to a child they have no chance to develop their own sense of confidence that is required to live, as adults in this big old world.  Mommy and Daddy are not going to hold your hand forever and tell you how wonderful you are.  (In the youth-sports world, we call this behavior "blowing smoke of their ass."  Please pardon the expression, but it's direct and accurate.  It ruins athletes, and it ruins human beings.

So go out there and get it yourself.  It's might be painful but you'll survive.  We all have so far.  I'll make sure your parents provide you with all the tools necessary for success, but remember, you're going to fail once in a while, and that's ok.  I promise that you'll appreciate life a lot more by learning the hard way.  And when you learn the hard way a few times, life becomes easy.