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Category: Opinion

  • Rest in Peace Pope Francis

    Rest in Peace Pope Francis

    With Pope Francis’s passing, we are again reminded of the early Church at the beginning of Christianity. Anyone who knows or appreciates history understands the impact of the Catholic Church on world history. For better or worse, the Catholic Church has played a significant role in world events in the last 2,000+ years. It is this connection to history that first attracted me to the faith. Apostolic Succession traces the Pontiff back to Peter the Apostle.

    Catholicism is the O.G. of Christianity.

    The division between conservatives and liberals is not limited to governmental politics. Similar differences in opinion and viewpoints exist in the Catholic Church today. Many find Pope Francis to be more progressive than traditional Catholics prefer. The pundits have already begun debating who the next pope will be and how he will lead his flock.

    I have loved Pope Francis since his election in 2013. His quiet humility was an example to Christians everywhere. I loved the stories I heard of his behavior after his election. He remained who he was, calling the newspaper himself to cancel his subscription, and insisting on personally paying the bill at his hotel before moving into the Vatican housing. I knew I’d like him when he announced he would be known as Pope Francis, named after my favorite saint, St. Francis of Assisi. My heart is full seeing the images of his last day spent among the people, celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. He was happiest when he was with those he loved, and who loved him.

    I will be glued to the media coverage of the funeral and conclave for the next several weeks. I love this kind of stuff. The rites and rituals are full of pomp and circumstance, and it is an opportunity to witness history as the Catholic Church chooses the next Servant of the Servants of God.


    We pray for the College of Cardinals as they gather for the funeral and conclave. We pray for the soul of Pope Francis as we grieve, and we pray for the new Pope who will be chosen as the next successor of Peter.

    Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let your perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

  • Happy Birthday to Me:

    Happy Birthday to Me:

    Why You Should Schedule, Plan and Execute Your Own Birthday Party

    Extraordinary women surround me in my life. I’ve intentionally cultivated a friend group that challenges and inspires me. I’m always learning from them as we share our life experiences. One of the most inspirational is my friend Vickie.

    Vickie has a brilliant tradition: She plans and executes her own birthday celebration each year. By taking care of the details herself, she ensures the annual observance is what she wants. Here are a few things you can do to make the day special.

    1. Choose a date and clear the schedule.
      Nothing happens until it is scheduled, so pick a day and set aside the time to do whatever you want.
    2. Order your cake.
      Do you have a favorite flavor or maybe a favorite bakery? Make sure you have a special treat that you love.
    3. Make dinner reservations and pick up the check.
      Do you have a favorite restaurant? Do you want company? You get to choose who is invited. Pick a date, make a reservation and pick up the check. Remember, this is your party. You’re worth it.
    4. Buy your own gift.
      This part is optional. We’re old enough not to need anything, but sometimes it’s nice to treat yourself to something you’ve wanted for a while. Now is the time.
    5. Take some time to reflect on the day.
      Spending some time contemplating your life with gratitude may be the biggest reward of this practice.

    I established an annual birthday tradition several years ago. Each year, I schedule a day to eat my favorite snacks while watching my favorite movies, Godfather Part 1 and Godfather Part 2. I will add the recommendations above in the future. The older we get, the more precious the celebrations.

    This concept does not excuse us from celebrating others. Everyone (yes, every one of us) likes attention from those they love. We need to know we are loved and in the thoughts of our friends and family. So, do unto others as you would have done unto you. (Jesus said that.)

    Celebrating yourself isn’t selfish—it’s a powerful act of self-love and appreciation. By taking charge of your own birthday plans, you ensure that the day is meaningful, joyful, and precisely what you want it to be. Whether it’s a simple dinner, a grand celebration, or a quiet day of reflection, you deserve to honor yourself in a way that feels right. So go ahead—schedule, plan, and execute your perfect birthday. You’re worth the celebration!

  • How To Enjoy Maui

    How To Enjoy Maui

    NOTE

    In February, Leroy and I will go on a pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City with Fr. Tom, Deacon Eric, and other All Saints University Parish parishioners. We are truly grateful for the opportunity and look forward to the experience. Please keep us in your prayers, as you will be in ours. If you have any particular prayer intentions, message us, and we’ll carry them with us on this journey.

    I don’t want to brag, but I will tell you that I’ve become quite good at relaxing while on vacation in Maui. I’m an expert in fully experiencing the Valley Isle’s benefits. I know how to escape the hectic, everyday life and thoroughly enjoy Maui, and I’ll share some tips with you here.

    1. Embrace ‘Island Time.’ – Time flows differently on Maui. Things happen at a slower pace. This can be difficult initially as we are so prone to the hurry-up culture. But all around you, you’ll be reminded, “This ain’t the mainland.”
    2. Don’t look like a tourist. When you go snorkeling, Try to be smooth. Watching a flailing swimmer enter the water with a snorkel mask is a sure sign of a tourist. Practice a smooth and calm entrance and exit from the water.
    3. Beware of the ‘Aloha Burn.’ – The sun is just different on Maui, and I’ve seen many vacations ruined by painful sunburns. (And you’ll look stupid.) Slather on the sunscreen, even if it makes you look like a ‘Haole.’
    4. Flip-flops are a philosophy. Leave your fancy clothes (and shoes) at home. Wearing a swimsuit (under a cover-up) anywhere on the island is perfectly acceptable.
    5. Always pack two swimsuits, so one is always dry and ready to put on quickly.
    6. Trying to pronounce the names of the streets in Maui will only make the locals laugh at you. Use your GPS, but don’t trust her pronunciation, either. But you should always use ‘Aloha’ (hello/goodbye) and ‘Mahalo’ (thank you) with everyone you encounter.

    Most of all, pause and reflect on the gift of this paradise. You cannot experience Maui and not be transformed by its beauty and peaceful atmosphere. Stop and appreciate the opportunity and take some of the Aloha Spirit wherever you go.

  • Happily Ever After

    Happily Ever After

    NOTE

    In February, Leroy and I will go on a pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City with Fr. Tom, Deacon Eric, and other All Saints University Parish parishioners. We are truly grateful for the opportunity and look forward to the experience. Please keep us in your prayers, as you will be in ours. If you have any particular prayer intentions, message us, and we’ll carry them with us on this journey.

    I have a terrible habit that I’ve been trying to break for several years, and I still struggle. In psychological terms, it’s known as ‘Future-Oriented Coping.’ The idea that ‘everything will be ok if I can just get through (INSERT EVENT HERE.)’ For example, “Everything will be ok after Christmas.” Or “Everything will get easier after the first of the year.” Technically, it’s defined as a psychological strategy where a person focuses on the future and believes that enduring or overcoming a specific challenge will lead to relief or improvement.

    “I will be happy after…”

    I am not entirely convinced that this technique helps me cope with stress. I fear that using it to ease the stress of a current situation creates a barrier to fully experiencing the present moment. I love to check off lists, but I can’t appreciate the value of the current task or situation if I look at the next one.

    Another problem is that it eliminates the opportunity for the joy and thrill of anticipation. I rarely, truly, look forward to an upcoming event; I only see its arrival as the end of the current stressful situation. I miss out on what could be the best part of an experience. (Or at least a really good part of an experience.)

    In studying this (for this blog post), I’ve learned that I am not alone. There are some things I can do to help eliminate this tendency. I must shift my focus from the future to the present moment and practice resiliency. I must find joy in the present moment.

    1. Mindfulness – Reduce anxiety by focusing on the here and now.
    2. Reframe Thinking – Replace “I’ll be happy after…” with “What can I appreciate or learn about the situation in the present moment?”
    3. Set small, meaningful goals – Tracking will keep me aware and engaged.
    4. Focus on gratitude – Shift attention from lack to abundance.
    5. Accept uncertainty – Trust my ability to handle good or bad outcomes.
    6. Celebrate small wins – Build a sense of accomplishment.

    I was going to write that I’m going to try and practice these techniques, but in the words of Yoda, “Do or do not. There is no try.” So, I will focus on shifting my focus and learning to live now and happily ever after.

  • Great Job!

    Great Job!

    Several months ago, I was asked to present the monthly teaching at All Saints’s Adult Family Catechism class. The curriculum is planned and scheduled. I was assigned the topics of Creation, Adam and Eve, the Image of God and the Plan of Salvation. These are not simple topics, but I had access to a PowerPoint presentation, notes and videos that would help, and I used them all.

    Attendance at these classes (held monthly) is mandatory for the families participating in the Catechism classes. Most of the teaching is done at home, but the parishioners are asked to attend these classes to assist and hold them accountable. While preparing for this, I was reminded of the times when my attendance was mandatory at such events and how much I resented it. This was going to be a tough audience because most of them would never choose to be there. I certainly didn’t, so I understood the attitude. So, how did I go from being a forced participant to being a volunteer teacher? I just kept showing up. Somehow, a seed that was planted years ago began to develop.

    I was responsible for presenting the required theological concepts, but I wanted the parents to know they were doing a good job. They were there! They showed up! And that’s all that God asks of us. Life and parenting are tough, even under the best circumstances. Too often, parents get caught up in comparison and guilt, which only worsens matters. Doing the best we can under any circumstances is the most we can ask of ourselves and each other.

    So, if you find yourself in this season of life, I have some advice for you. Hang in there. God has entrusted these special souls to you for a reason. You’re not asked to do it alone. Seek the help you need from family, friends, church, and, most of all, the Holy Spirit. Just keep showing up and it will all fall into place.

  • Not Just Anybody

    Not Just Anybody

    I have required some assistance with my daily life recently, which has allowed me to reflect with gratitude on my friends and family. It has reminded me of the Beatles’ song, Help.

    I need somebody

    (Help) not just anybody

    (Help) you know I need someone

    (Help)

    Accepting help is not easy, but sometimes, there isn’t another option. It is humbling but in the best possible way.

    While preparing for this season, I knew I would (and could) rely primarily on Leroy and Sierra. They didn’t have a choice, but they were willing participants. However, we have a new family member now, so I also asked Taylor for help too. She didn’t even hesitate. She jumped in with both feet, and I am forever grateful. It has only been a year since I met this girl, and I am continually shocked at how well she fits into our family.

    When Taylor took care of me one day, I paused and asked her, “Did you ever think you’d be doing this for me a year ago when we met in the Dutch Bros drive-thru?” She laughed and said no. Neither did I. But what surprised me the most at that moment was that I was willing to be so vulnerable and dependent on this girl. Don’t get me wrong, she makes it easy. Her kind heart is filled with love and service. I have the barriers, but she’s torn down the wall.

    I did not have the best example of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships when I was growing up, for no fault of my sisters-in-law. My mom was often challenging to get along with. I am so thankful those experiences have not influenced my relationship with Taylor. (Maybe it has, but in the opposite way.) I can’t believe how much I like this girl.

    This interaction got me thinking. What other limiting beliefs keep me from experiencing the best part of life and the people around me? I’ve certainly learned that I should “never say never.” And I am improving at not jumping to judgmental conclusions about another’s actions. (Although this area still needs some work.) I will use this experience as a template for further interactions. I will remember that an anybody can become a somebody when you let them in and let them help.

  • Election Daze

    Election Daze

    We are only one week from the 2024 General Election in the United States. I don’t know the outcome, and I can’t predict. I have a strong opinion and value my right to vote, but I can’t control who wins, who loses or what measures pass or fail. I can control my intake of rhetoric regardless of the victor. Election day will not end the story, no matter the winner. If my candidate wins, I will feel better. But history has proven that winning or losing an election doesn’t end the story. Adolf Hitler lost an election in 1932 and, afterward, went on to dominate the political arena as a self-proclaimed dictator. He was stopped, but then oppressive communism took over much of Germany. There were decades of chaos, but things eventually improved, and the country has moved past its troubled history.

    This country is stronger than one elected position and one election cycle. Can considerable damage be done? Yes. Of course. However, the founding fathers were wise enough to put in a check-and-balance system that would prevent any one individual or political party from ending the democracy we hold so dear.

    Many talk about “today’s world” with a doom and gloom attitude. I think humanity has been saying the same thing for centuries. These political battles are nothing new. We’ve been dealing with bad politicians and evil for a long time. But I know that the United States of America can and will survive the 2024 campaign and the next US president. God will allow no evil that he cannot transform for good.

    Do we need to learn from the political divisions and eliminate the hate and blame? Yes. But our country is more than just one ugly election cycle.

  • Unreal Housewives

    Unreal Housewives

    I got sucked into some reality TV recently, and I am still trying to cleanse my brain from the damage. I don’t know why I did it. (That’s a lie. I do. I was tired, and it was cheap, easy entertainment.) Reality TV of all kinds makes me very uncomfortable, especially the competition shows. Even if they suck, I feel bad when someone loses.

    The show I was watching was from the “Real Housewives” franchise on Bravo. I didn’t sympathize or empathize with any of these women, and I often found the storylines too ridiculous to believe. But there I sat, pushing “next episode” and binge-watching an entire season.

    I know better.

    We are what we consume, and that doesn’t just mean food. What we watch, read and listen to makes a difference, and even if we think we’re immune, the content is influential. And the negative content is more influential than the positive.

    This wisdom applies to all forms and messages found on any media platform. Not all of it is true, and not all of it is healthy, including the news. This is especially true during an election year when news agencies bombard us with an agenda to promote. Your political views may match one news channel more than others, but don’t be fooled. They all contain spin.

    Please understand that I am not criticizing those who enjoy reality TV. I love many friends and family members who are regular viewers and true fans. They can see the value of the entertainment, which doesn’t cause them anxiety. It is genuinely fun for them to watch, form opinions and anticipate the next story line. 

    This issue is similar to spending too much time on social media. It’s not the best use of my time, and my time is extremely valuable to me. This experience gave me an opportunity to rest and escape reality while recovering from a surgical procedure, and I am grateful. But now that I am better, I need to do better.

  • Talking to Strangers

    Talking to Strangers

    Watching the grandkids interact with the world is one of my favorite things about taking them anywhere. I love to experience places and people through their perceptions and witness how they handle themselves in these unusual circumstances. Jameson has never known a stranger. From the time he was a toddler, he would say hello to people as they passed, primarily through Costco’s aisles. He would repeat repeatedly, “Hi, I’m Jameson. What’s your name?”

    Charlotte was a little more reserved as a toddler. She was born at the very beginning of the 2020 Pandemic and didn’t go out in public until she was several months old. I still remember Sierra telling the story of her first experience with Target. She loved the bright lights but was distressed seeing her mother in a mask.

    Now that the kids are older, their behavior is fairly predictable. Jameson will engage adults quickly and seek out a hug, while Charlotte tends to pay more attention to children. They are both friendly and talkative, but they are not always met with a warm and welcoming response. So now, I watch other people’s reactions to my grandchildren like I’m conducting a social experiment.

    In the 1980s, our society introduced the “Stranger Danger” concept to protect children from being abducted. Looking back, the increased fear and anxiety were highly exaggerated and blown out of proportion by the media. Children were much less likely to be kidnapped than in the decades before. (And strangers do not commit the majority of child abductions.) Unfortunately, fear sells stories and responsible parents began to warn their kids about the dangers of talking to strangers.

    The unforeseen consequence of this action is that we raised an entire generation of people who do not know how to talk to strangers. Therefore, they don’t have the tools to transform strangers into acquaintances, friends, clients or customers. And this was only the beginning of the impact on our society. We are still witnessing the effects of increased fear and mental illness among children and young adults. Not only do we have kids who don’t know how to engage, but we also have adults who are afraid to interact with children they don’t know. If an adult tries to speak to a child, they may be deemed inappropriate or creepy, even when the words are positive and affirming.

    Our most impactful form of communication is through our body language. Most of this silent interaction is intuitive as human beings, but we do learn as we engage with others around us. Even if we are not conscious or fully aware of the signals or “vibe,” we intuitively know what is appropriate. I’ve seen this firsthand with the kids. It breaks my heart when they reach out to someone with kindness, and their good intentions are met with negative feedback. Even when they are confident in the attempt, each negative response builds their defenses a little higher and higher. And each interaction gives them more data about the world and people around them.

    So the next time a little kid waves to you in the parking lot or asks your name at Costco, do me and society a favor; stop, listen and respond with kindness. Even a simple smile goes a long way. Don’t worry about what others will think. If your response is with kindness, you can’t go wrong. Let’s see if we can turn the tide. This is the beginning of how we move from hate to love.

    PS – Here are some of my favorite books on this subject.

    The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

    The Rational Optimist

    The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness